A Journey Through the Mind of Schizophrenia

       This is the post I have been avoiding. The one post that has kept me from writing for months. I didn't quite know what to say or how to say it. I find this post troubling and found myself in denial. Denial I feel yet today... after all these years. I didn't want the following to happen. I denied the following from happening. I wasn't going to allow anything get in the way from allowing me to have the life I so desired. This is the post where I found out I was with child. The child I denied. The child that had no choice. The child and circumstance that brought me to many tears for all these years. The one story that breaks my heart a little bit each day.    I pray to God to bring me words. To tell my story and I hear, "you have such a good hand." But, God I say, "do I have a heart?" I die at this thought. I don't want to be callous or appear pretentious. I never wanted any of this to happen. It shouldn't have ever been this way. It wasn'