So, there I was confronted by family members which by the way, ended up in a shouting match! Ok...maybe this was one-sided...my side. I felt confused, alone and cornered. I didn't understand. I did not tolerate their suggestion very well. After all, I was doing fine or so I thought. I was working full time. I was taking care of my wellness. I was exercising on a regular basis at the gym and running. I was cooking for myself. I was taking care of the home I had created. I was feeling the best I had ever felt. I was fit...physically. But I didn't connect the dots. I didn't see my isolation; I did not see the betrayal of my mind. I didn't see anything wrong with not showing up for work 3 days in a row unaccounted. Later, as I tried to recollect the happenings, I remembered my supervisor calling me and asking me if I was coming to work? I simply said to him, "yes...I'm sitting here waiting to go to work." I still don't clearly know what happened that morning. In my experience with Schizophrenia, I had a feeling of lapses in time. It's as though your brain goes through some sort of intermittent paralysis. It's your mind's effort or signaling something is wrong. Things are not working well with your brain. It's an illness. Much like Diabetes, Cancer or a broken bone for that matter. There are warning signs that something is not well. Sadly, with Mental Illness we don't know, understand or always see those signs. This is a mistake for those we love, care about and try to help.
So, there I was confronted by family members which by the way, ended up in a shouting match! Ok...maybe this was one-sided...my side. I felt confused, alone and cornered. I didn't understand. I did not tolerate their suggestion very well. After all, I was doing fine or so I thought. I was working full time. I was taking care of my wellness. I was exercising on a regular basis at the gym and running. I was cooking for myself. I was taking care of the home I had created. I was feeling the best I had ever felt. I was fit...physically. But I didn't connect the dots. I didn't see my isolation; I did not see the betrayal of my mind. I didn't see anything wrong with not showing up for work 3 days in a row unaccounted. Later, as I tried to recollect the happenings, I remembered my supervisor calling me and asking me if I was coming to work? I simply said to him, "yes...I'm sitting here waiting to go to work." I still don't clearly know what happened that morning. In my experience with Schizophrenia, I had a feeling of lapses in time. It's as though your brain goes through some sort of intermittent paralysis. It's your mind's effort or signaling something is wrong. Things are not working well with your brain. It's an illness. Much like Diabetes, Cancer or a broken bone for that matter. There are warning signs that something is not well. Sadly, with Mental Illness we don't know, understand or always see those signs. This is a mistake for those we love, care about and try to help.
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