This is just three nights with Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar Type, Diabetes and Sleep Apnea. These are the notes in my calendar on my smartphone.
💤
Monday, April 17th
2 am
Feeling saddened, feeling scared and nervous.
Emotionally doing better. Not crying so much.
Feeling sooo worried about my side effects.
Having weird dreams*.
My 3rd week with Vraylar.
MUCH muscle and joint stiffness and soreness* and headache*.
This tears me up inside.
*keeping me awake.
I am in the process of changing my anti-psychotic medication. One with less harmful side effects. I am also soon starting a new medication for sugar diabetes. A once a week injection for practical purposes to eliminate so many diabetic medications. I know I must lose weight and eat healthier. I know I must. If I just could. If I could.
💤
Friday, March 10th
9:00 am
These are the notes in my calender on my smartphone once again.
I am feeling
over-whelmed
and insecure.
My faith is wavering.
I feel defeated.
All due to health issues.
I don't know how to manage my health. I don't know how to handle this. I just don't know.
I try to turn it over to God , but my trust wavers.
This has got to stop! It has to change.
🚩
Sunday, March 12
3:00 am
Smart phone notes again.
I am dreaming entire scenarios almost like a movie. It's disrupting my sleep.
I also discovered 2 of my medications cause insomnia and 1 causes shallow breathing.
Something has to change. I can't tolerate this.
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