Skip to main content

My Prayer


 Dear God,

I know that I am not always present with you and sometimes not very available...especially lately. But I believe you know what is on my heart. I don't always know what to say and it gets all awkward at times. I guess what I'd like to say is I get so tired of all the suffering and not only for me. This goes way beyond me. I hate what I see in this world. The disparaging remarks upon one another, the violence, the hate and the times we don't take to understand. I know I cannot expect perfection in this life. Quite frankly I don't know how I would respond to it. It would be so out of the norm of what I am used to. But I am hoping you are listening right this moment and I 'd like to ask for your intervention. Intervention on our behalf. To shed your light and your ways upon the lives you seek and on the lives of those who follow. I think sometimes we try so hard, but our brokenness gets in the way. We are not always so resilient. We fall. We make mistakes. We undermine your very authority. But I want to help. I want to make a difference. I want your words to channel through me and reach the lives that need to hear. Each one of us needs lifted up from time to time and sometimes everyday...sometimes by the moment. I am not here to persuade but to just...if I could...shed some light. To brighten a day. To brighten a life. Could we make an impact? Can we make an impact? Is it not too late? I know I am only one little drop in the water, but I think I still have the ability to make a ripple. To create an effect that will be lasting. That will not be diminished. With your help. I know I can do this...I know...we can do this. If this is your will, would you bless this...bless us. Be with us. Guide us. Impart your wisdom upon us. Be a part of our every day. I know I can count on you. You have always come through for me in the past and I know you are with me now. I love you! I treasure our time together. May my prayer always be in your name. Amen.  

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In the Dark and Finding the Light

It fell upon me. The darkness. The delusions. The voices. Slowly. Cunningly. I didn't realize it...somehow, I just thought I was special. That God only spoke to me ! The grandiosity of it all made me feel not only special but the perks of having Schizoaffective and Bipolar Disorder caused a flight of feelings like no other. It made me feel free, unconcerned, creative and powerful...and then I would hide away. Embarrassed, ashamed, empty and depleted. It's like a reserve of these feelings were percolating inside...just waiting, ready...to erupt. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Another Night

    It's another night. Lack of sleep. While wiping tears and searching fears. Trying my best to navigate a new beginning each day. I know without promise time stands against change. We condition ourselves with little meaning only to arrive at an intersection of hope and despair. Climbing escapades and downward spirals...opening...closing...to shut again.     Schizophrenia. An illness forcing me into hiding. Where people don't understand and can't accept. If we cannot receive and help one another where does our help come from? Biblically I know. But if we cannot talk or share openly about mental illness then that means I have to hide. I go into hiding. We are all hiding. Which way do you want it? Tell me. Because I need to know. It destroys me to not be able to express myself about my moods, my tears, my fears, my symptoms and all the despair. It all comes across depressing. Yet, if we talk about cancer or diabetes we listen. We try to gain knowledge and understandi...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Never Thought

I never thought I would be here. In a place where time seems to stand still and yet at time runs forward without me. A place where the understanding is not mine to know. I acknowledge this place, but I don't know how to accept it, still. The irony is the ability to let go and allow time to heal my wounds but yet I am locked up and frozen in parallel. Where acceptance is the mode of transportation to a future, I have dreamed about. A future I don't know where leads. And somehow it frightens me because of the fear I've lived with. A fear of everything with me and a fear without. I have lived with nothing but fear for so many years. I do not know of anything. If there is a means or a way to acceptance it has steered me off course for so long that conveying would be to reach within to a deep and dark place I do not want to face. It's defined by standards we have set of ignorance. It's defined by loneliness. It's a space set well apart from anything we have come to k...
Post a Comment
Read more

It is Well

  There was a time it was not well.
Post a Comment
Read more

Both Sides Now

  Both Sides Now Rows and throws of angel hair And ice cream castles in the air And feather canyons everywhere Looked at clouds that way But now they only block the sun They rain and they snow on everyone So many things I would have done But clouds got in my way I've looked at clouds from both sides now From up and down and still somehow It's cloud illusions I recall I really don't know clouds at all Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels The dizzy dancing way that you feel As every fairy tale comes real I've looked at love that way But now it's just another show And you leave 'em laughing when you go And if you care, don't let them know Don't give yourself away I've looked at love from both sides now From give and take and still somehow It's love's illusions that I recall I really don't know love Really don't know love at all Tears and fears and feeling proud To say, "I love you" right out loud Dreams and schemes and circus crow...
Post a Comment
Read more