A Knock Knock Joke

My Prayer

Dear God, I know that I am not always present with you and sometimes not very available...especially lately. But I believe you know what is on my heart. I don't always know what to say and it gets all awkward at times. I guess what I'd like to say is I get so tired of all the suffering and not only for me. This goes way beyond me. I hate what I see in this world. The disparaging remarks upon one another, the violence, the hate and the times we don't take to understand. I know I cannot expect perfection in this life. Quite frankly I don't know how I would respond to it. It would be so out of the norm of what I am used to. But I am hoping you are listening right this moment and I 'd like to ask for your intervention. Intervention on our behalf. To shed your light and your ways upon the lives you seek and on the lives of those who follow. I think sometimes we try so hard, but our brokenness gets in the way. We are not always so resilient. We fall. We make mistakes....

Obstacles

I am sitting here in the dark at my desk by the light of my lamp wondering and thinking about my path. My path with mental illness and in particular the obstacles I have experienced. Mental Illness is so difficult. It's difficult to grasp. It's difficult to understand and mostly it's difficult to live with. I wish I could sum it up quickly, shortly and with a depth of knowledge and understanding with simplicity. I like simplicity. That's my approach toward my appreciation of life. Simple things seem so rare. We live in such a devastated world and climate. Simplicity is the cornerstone to chaos. It provides an anchor or spectrum in which we can navigate the course. I like the simple things I find in nature like listening to the birds as they sing as I grow in curiosity of their message. I like watching them hunt and gather twigs and grasses they use to build their homes. I enjoy the rebirth of life after a winter's lull. I enjoy cool tiles beneath my feet on a ho...

In the Dark and Finding the Light

It fell upon me. The darkness. The delusions. The voices. Slowly. Cunningly. I didn't realize it...somehow, I just thought I was special. That God only spoke to me ! The grandiosity of it all made me feel not only special but the perks of having Schizoaffective and Bipolar Disorder caused a flight of feelings like no other. It made me feel free, unconcerned, creative and powerful...and then I would hide away. Embarrassed, ashamed, empty and depleted. It's like a reserve of these feelings were percolating inside...just waiting, ready...to erupt.

Both Sides Now

Both Sides Now Rows and throws of angel hair And ice cream castles in the air And feather canyons everywhere Looked at clouds that way But now they only block the sun They rain and they snow on everyone So many things I would have done But clouds got in my way I've looked at clouds from both sides now From up and down and still somehow It's cloud illusions I recall I really don't know clouds at all Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels The dizzy dancing way that you feel As every fairy tale comes real I've looked at love that way But now it's just another show And you leave 'em laughing when you go And if you care, don't let them know Don't give yourself away I've looked at love from both sides now From give and take and still somehow It's love's illusions that I recall I really don't know love Really don't know love at all Tears and fears and feeling proud To say, "I love you" right out loud Dreams and schemes and circus crow...

Open the Door

Open the door for Christ.

A Journey Through the Mind of Schizophrenia

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